Failing at Life (And other things to F-Up)

Title: Failing at Life (And other things to F-Up)

“If you don’t go to a decent college, you’ll fail at life,” – Well, it already sucks, how worse could it be?

“I’m going to Harvard,” – More like the parking lot.

“I want to be a doctor, or a lawyer.” - I bet you spell the word doctor with an ‘E’.

Ok so you’ve fucked off the first 3 years of high school. Now you’re almost 18, it’s senior year; time for college… what?!

That’s exactly it; what. - What you’ll get on SAT, what you want to be, what to do with your life.

You’re not expected to know these answers. Maybe have a vague idea, but full out deciding you future? Nu-uh. Anyone who claims otherwise is full of shit.

Now, before you sock the dweeb boasting how he’ll win a Noble Prize for curing AIDs, take a step back and consider your potential options.

Your grades? – Let’s say a few points below Mediocre.

Don’t fret, my dear simpleton. Instead of aiming for some ridiculous, ‘Parents need to refinance the house’, University, consider the local, community college. You don’t have to go there for four years. Just one or two, to get yourself settled, bring up your GPA, and slowly build up your independence. In fact, it’ll be easier to transfer from a community college to a big university, than graduating high school and crossing your fingers for acceptance letters.

Besides, many freshmen college students cannot handle over-the-top Universities (though you won’t hear about it in their glossy, picturesque pamphlets). It’s easy to get drawn-into the keg party scene. Staying up late, forgetting to study. Sudden freedom has it’s price. Others struggle to handle all the other vices at their disposal. Maybe in High School, you never considered popping a few pills to stay up late, or just to relax. And, who in their right mind would want to share a small, boarding on in-humane room with a total and complete stranger? Bathrooms? Eek. Suddenly your Eighties’ wallpapered half-bath seems like a luxurious paradise.

So, while you bash your heads against the wall worrying about your ACT scores, wondering if you passed the A-Levels, or any other Senior-year concern; remember, they’re no-way as important as they propaganda you into believing. Just enjoy the last year you don’t have to worry about dodging jury duty, and leave all these trivialities where they belong, shoved in the back of your head, stored behind random celebrity facts.